When I look into your eyes...

Waiting. Wishing. Dreaming. Drifting. This post will be the make up post for the post I lost the other day. Well Here I am. In my Emo house, down in my Emo room, listening to my emo music, writing in my emo blog. Things have been going pretty well for me lately. School is awesome, my new job is awesome, my new house is awesome. In general things are going pretty awesome. However I am still emo. Still cold. Still Lonely. Stilly waiting. Still wishing. Still dreaming. Still drifting. I have been very nostalgic lately. Thinking about the "good ol'days" of the caravelle and the cruising and the late nights and youth group. Those days seem so fun and carefree now. Even though we were bored out of our minds at least all of us were friends and hung out. Now life doesn't seem that simple, none of us seem to hang out anymore. This leads me to the thought o fB.C. I miss it there so much. I do like Saskatoon because of its familiarity to me but other than that I really have no attachment here anymore. I felt so much more at home in B.C. I loved it. Thinking about B.C. also makes me think about my friends from there. They don't really talk to me anymore, which could be for reasons of my own doing but I am not sure... None the less I miss Summit and B.C. I had a really good year there... for the most part. Part of me wishes I was back there but at the same time I love it here at CPC. I am having a good year here also. blah. So many thoughts running through my head. So many things going unsaid. Meh. Not much I can do I guess, other than be nostalgic. I really miss Amos and Mike and our tea and our drives in search of Ontario and Manitoba. The guys who seemed to hate it there in B.C. are the ones that are back there while I am here.

This blog has kind of shifted to the whole thought of friends. It seems as we get older friendships and the way we deal with them change so much. I mean when I was young I always had to talk on the phone with my friends at least every second day if not more. They would call me and I would call them and we would hang out as much as we could. Now that I am older things aren't like that. I talk to my close friends quite rarely and even get to hang out with them less. When I was younger it felt that if i didn't talk to my friends they would cease to be my friends but now there are times I don't talk to some of my close friends for months but when we do talk it is like we were never apart. This is good and all but sometimes I miss always having friends there to call whenever. To do stuff whenever. Now we have to work around schedules and locations. It's frustrating sometimes.

How do little things come up between friends that make them fight? The stupidest things. Althought friendships have changed and 'matured' as I have gotten older they still have childish elements. Such has hanging up on. Not answering the phone or stopping talking too. Cheap threats like "I'm just going to return your Christmas present then". I mean what is this? Sounds like grade two when people would say "Your not alowed to come to my birthday anymore!" Sometimes adults seem like large children under the dilussion of maturity. Alot of people who consider themselves very mature persons act in the most childish and foolish of ways.

I really should be doing my report. I only have 2 pages left and it is due tonight. It shouldn't take me long but I am procrastinating it. Blah.

I went on an emo drive the other day. Drove down this residential street with alot of trees and the leaves were falling, and the smell of pie was in the air and it just looked so emo. Especially while listening to this one emo song by armour for sleep. It had a line about the trees waving back at me. Yea it was an intense emo drive. But that is also is the explanation why my msn name is autumn leaves and apple pie. Now you know the rest of the story.


I stretched my ears the other day. I stretched them to zero like I used to have them. I think I might go to double zero but I am not sure.

Well I really should finish my report. I don't want to and I am bored. blah

If you (being people I know) don't have my new number at my new place you can email me and I will give it to you. You all should know my email but it is exiledpunk13@hotmail.com. Thanks for taking the time to read my blog. I am quite impressed that you pressed on through to the end. Congradulations you get a cookie! Maybe. Wow. Emo music, emo room, emo mood... I'm so emo even my hair hurts... Time for me to go and cry now... I miss you. Emoboy out.