I don't know where I am, I don't know where I've been but I know where I want to go.
Bright Eyes.
Ok so I haven't posted since Saturday morning and I am sure that my loyal fans that read my blog every single day are wondering "Whats wrong!? Whats going on!? Is he ok?!" Well I am now here to answer these questions and update you. Nothing is wrong. Lots has gone on. And... am I ever ok? ok well thats it... talk to you later...
Just Kidding... read on silly
Ha silly, what a word... its a funny word... funnier when guys say it... silly... silly... silly... ha... I love me. Anyways, I got my nose peirced on saturday... I just needed peircings or tattoos and seeing as peircings are cheaper... so yeah... spur of the moment thing... I love getting peirced. That was in the afternoon. In the evening I went out to Vanessa's thing... it was good... I really enjoyed it. I got lost though... lost in my thoughts... we were out by the fire at this time... after seeing the animals and what not... Vanessa was playing guitar and singing and it was wonderful... I really do think she is very talented. Anyways I first drifted off listening to the music and I started get lost by drifting away... for real... I like floated above everyone and watched from the sky... watched the fire and the people and did what I do best... which is watch.. yes I know... creepy. but anyways as I was floating above everyone and watching I looked around to see the pretty stars but they weren't out... it was too cloudy. I kept drifting until suddenly I was in a hall way... I was walking down this hallway that just would not end. As I walked I saw names of people I had known... who I did know and doors with names that I couldn't read. I saw names like Daryl, who I had went to school with, and I saw Robin's name, and Adams, and Virginias, and J-D's and Logans, and Shancelle and Phil and so many more. Some doors were closed and some were open... I had a key in my hand. I just kept on walking and walking and walking and I saw Carissa's door and I just stood there... memories flashed through my head of alot of things... and I thought of alot of things... sorted out alot of things... and rethought things I had sorted out before. I tried the door but it was locked... I didn't bother opening it but kept on walking. I was now in an area where there were no names on the doors. Suddenly everything crumbled away and I was on fire... but it didn't burn... actually it felt good... I then looked from the fire at myself standing there.... and I watched myself... I searched myself... I know who I am but I am getting to know who I want to be and who God wants me to be... and that was what I did as I watched myself stand there... I then snapped back into my head and the conversation and the people... I soon drifted off again and this time I was on a boat... I was rowing around... all alone... it was dark... so very dark... suddenly there was someone in the boat and I was happy and not alone... but they jumped out.... I was sad and cold and dark for a long time... then there was someone else but this time I jumped out and when I climbed back in they were gone... then I saw someone swimming and I pulled them into the boat and we were happy and things were bright... then I blinked and they were gone... I looked every where for anyone but there was no one... slowly I saw someone and they were glowing but I snapped out of my thoughts and I was soon back standing with everyone... I continued thinking about alot of stuff, mostly of myself but some about friends... I realized Vanessa wasn't playing anymore... and I started thinking about the songs that she had played... then I sat down... but it was time to leave.
Sunday I went to church... it was good... afternoon I ate with parents... it was also good... late afternoon and evening were at the ex with phil and his mom and my wonderful friends... it was mostly good... although I was in a bad mood around the fire works time... tired... frustrated and irritated.... I was in a better mood after that thought when the one man band played sugarhill gang and then I went on rides with Phil, MJ, Delia, and the wonderful me. I got to talk to Delia quite a bit and get to know her better, she is a very cool person... actually all of the people I have met has been really awesome... I don't really know MJ or Rebbecca... I think that was her name... to many names.... but from what I know of them they are pretty awesome too... YOU ARE ALL AWESOME!!!!! YES ALL OF YOU!! GREAT!! I AM GLAD I MET YOU>>> that was your shout out... I really did shout it... did you hear me? but ya... and then I thought about me somemore... not that everything is about me... but who I want to become and who I need and should be... who God wants me to be.... I thought about reverance to God and knowing him as king and not just as friend and then I thought about really knowing him in all aspects... and then I thought about how little I am in the scheme of things and what he really has planned for me.... then umm the lost keys happened at this time... and then the shancelle call then a late night... and then some sleep and then work and then I ended up going and playing cards with the girls. It was good times... I was originally in a really bad mood but it picked up alot as the night went on... it was great... I had lots of fun... everyone is leaving though and although I don't know them that well I am sad because I have had lots of good times with them already. So yeah today I went to a movie with phil that we didn't get to finish because the movie broke... so we ended up just chatting... yeah... that was my last couple of days summed up. Actually summed up in a very fast, short, probably confusing way. Oh I had work mixed in there too... and work has been ok... oh and some prep for school... and alot of neglecting and procrastinating things that I NEED to do... such as get another job! hmm.. yeah... I have done alot of thinking about thoughts tonight too.. its been good... and bad... and weird... I love me and my head... I also love Weezer... Rivers is awesome... speaking of Weezer... I once again miss Amos... I miss him as a roomate... our chats... blah... anyways... I missed alot of things that happened this weekend too.... like more thoughts.... and day dreams and what not... but I ussually don't talk about those anyways... they are... well complicated and people just sometimes don't understand... Misunderstood... yeah... and then there is the question of if I am good enough for that then why not me? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? do I smell funny? Not that I necesarily want it to be me... but the question still remains... and ... why? why do I do this? why do I try? I dunno... I think I will retreat into my head for a while now and then go to bed... it is getting late... again... I don't think I have been asleep before 4 in the morning ever since friday... blah... i hate going to sleep but I love sleeping... I am getting really tired... ok well I think that this is enough for now... it is all I can think of to write about... no thats not true... but I am not making sense... actually i don't know if any of this made sense...
Anyways... there I go again... saying anyways...
Girls like that don't like guys like me they like guys with punk rock pants...OH! bands punk rock bands... not pants.... I understand... I had it wrong all along... (that was a memory from a conversation with J-D two weeks ago or so... it was great.... sorry)
Well I should say goodnight or goodday or good morning or whatever it is for whoever you are whenever you read this... thank you for taking the time to read the steaming heap of crazy word barf... buh bye and catch you on the flip side...
Everyone is my friend... except for you... actually... especially you! you have a cute smile... your so sweet... here have a block of cheese...
ok sleep now
Ok so I haven't posted since Saturday morning and I am sure that my loyal fans that read my blog every single day are wondering "Whats wrong!? Whats going on!? Is he ok?!" Well I am now here to answer these questions and update you. Nothing is wrong. Lots has gone on. And... am I ever ok? ok well thats it... talk to you later...
Just Kidding... read on silly
Ha silly, what a word... its a funny word... funnier when guys say it... silly... silly... silly... ha... I love me. Anyways, I got my nose peirced on saturday... I just needed peircings or tattoos and seeing as peircings are cheaper... so yeah... spur of the moment thing... I love getting peirced. That was in the afternoon. In the evening I went out to Vanessa's thing... it was good... I really enjoyed it. I got lost though... lost in my thoughts... we were out by the fire at this time... after seeing the animals and what not... Vanessa was playing guitar and singing and it was wonderful... I really do think she is very talented. Anyways I first drifted off listening to the music and I started get lost by drifting away... for real... I like floated above everyone and watched from the sky... watched the fire and the people and did what I do best... which is watch.. yes I know... creepy. but anyways as I was floating above everyone and watching I looked around to see the pretty stars but they weren't out... it was too cloudy. I kept drifting until suddenly I was in a hall way... I was walking down this hallway that just would not end. As I walked I saw names of people I had known... who I did know and doors with names that I couldn't read. I saw names like Daryl, who I had went to school with, and I saw Robin's name, and Adams, and Virginias, and J-D's and Logans, and Shancelle and Phil and so many more. Some doors were closed and some were open... I had a key in my hand. I just kept on walking and walking and walking and I saw Carissa's door and I just stood there... memories flashed through my head of alot of things... and I thought of alot of things... sorted out alot of things... and rethought things I had sorted out before. I tried the door but it was locked... I didn't bother opening it but kept on walking. I was now in an area where there were no names on the doors. Suddenly everything crumbled away and I was on fire... but it didn't burn... actually it felt good... I then looked from the fire at myself standing there.... and I watched myself... I searched myself... I know who I am but I am getting to know who I want to be and who God wants me to be... and that was what I did as I watched myself stand there... I then snapped back into my head and the conversation and the people... I soon drifted off again and this time I was on a boat... I was rowing around... all alone... it was dark... so very dark... suddenly there was someone in the boat and I was happy and not alone... but they jumped out.... I was sad and cold and dark for a long time... then there was someone else but this time I jumped out and when I climbed back in they were gone... then I saw someone swimming and I pulled them into the boat and we were happy and things were bright... then I blinked and they were gone... I looked every where for anyone but there was no one... slowly I saw someone and they were glowing but I snapped out of my thoughts and I was soon back standing with everyone... I continued thinking about alot of stuff, mostly of myself but some about friends... I realized Vanessa wasn't playing anymore... and I started thinking about the songs that she had played... then I sat down... but it was time to leave.
Sunday I went to church... it was good... afternoon I ate with parents... it was also good... late afternoon and evening were at the ex with phil and his mom and my wonderful friends... it was mostly good... although I was in a bad mood around the fire works time... tired... frustrated and irritated.... I was in a better mood after that thought when the one man band played sugarhill gang and then I went on rides with Phil, MJ, Delia, and the wonderful me. I got to talk to Delia quite a bit and get to know her better, she is a very cool person... actually all of the people I have met has been really awesome... I don't really know MJ or Rebbecca... I think that was her name... to many names.... but from what I know of them they are pretty awesome too... YOU ARE ALL AWESOME!!!!! YES ALL OF YOU!! GREAT!! I AM GLAD I MET YOU>>> that was your shout out... I really did shout it... did you hear me? but ya... and then I thought about me somemore... not that everything is about me... but who I want to become and who I need and should be... who God wants me to be.... I thought about reverance to God and knowing him as king and not just as friend and then I thought about really knowing him in all aspects... and then I thought about how little I am in the scheme of things and what he really has planned for me.... then umm the lost keys happened at this time... and then the shancelle call then a late night... and then some sleep and then work and then I ended up going and playing cards with the girls. It was good times... I was originally in a really bad mood but it picked up alot as the night went on... it was great... I had lots of fun... everyone is leaving though and although I don't know them that well I am sad because I have had lots of good times with them already. So yeah today I went to a movie with phil that we didn't get to finish because the movie broke... so we ended up just chatting... yeah... that was my last couple of days summed up. Actually summed up in a very fast, short, probably confusing way. Oh I had work mixed in there too... and work has been ok... oh and some prep for school... and alot of neglecting and procrastinating things that I NEED to do... such as get another job! hmm.. yeah... I have done alot of thinking about thoughts tonight too.. its been good... and bad... and weird... I love me and my head... I also love Weezer... Rivers is awesome... speaking of Weezer... I once again miss Amos... I miss him as a roomate... our chats... blah... anyways... I missed alot of things that happened this weekend too.... like more thoughts.... and day dreams and what not... but I ussually don't talk about those anyways... they are... well complicated and people just sometimes don't understand... Misunderstood... yeah... and then there is the question of if I am good enough for that then why not me? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? do I smell funny? Not that I necesarily want it to be me... but the question still remains... and ... why? why do I do this? why do I try? I dunno... I think I will retreat into my head for a while now and then go to bed... it is getting late... again... I don't think I have been asleep before 4 in the morning ever since friday... blah... i hate going to sleep but I love sleeping... I am getting really tired... ok well I think that this is enough for now... it is all I can think of to write about... no thats not true... but I am not making sense... actually i don't know if any of this made sense...
Anyways... there I go again... saying anyways...
Girls like that don't like guys like me they like guys with punk rock pants...OH! bands punk rock bands... not pants.... I understand... I had it wrong all along... (that was a memory from a conversation with J-D two weeks ago or so... it was great.... sorry)
Well I should say goodnight or goodday or good morning or whatever it is for whoever you are whenever you read this... thank you for taking the time to read the steaming heap of crazy word barf... buh bye and catch you on the flip side...
Everyone is my friend... except for you... actually... especially you! you have a cute smile... your so sweet... here have a block of cheese...
ok sleep now
posted by Ty at 2:40 AM
1 Comments:
I followed you! I really did! Right up until the part about bands that smile sweetly because they don't wear pants, and they smell like cheese... Then I lost you.
Your brain looks a lot like mine. Especially right now when everything's changing and I feel so disorganized and I'm being stalked by all the packing I still have to do, and an ex-bf that entirely confuses me.
AHHHH!!!! And to make things worse, I just smudged my eye-liner. Crap.
I know. I rock and now I'm leaving. But I'll be home for Christmas, just like the song says. And Delia is gonna be here until October. So keep hanging out with her, cuz she's not from here and she doesn't know too many people. Or I'll hurt you. Like I could. I'm a whimp.
I very despirately need to write a song, but the words aren't formulating...
Time to take a break from packing and watch some tube.
See ya on the flip-side
(I thought I was the only one who said that...
I just wrote "filp" but then I fixed it.)
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